I Watched Thee
by monkeycgm
Summary: Based on the poem by Lord Byron. Severus' account of loving Hermione from afar and of the things in life that will never be.


I Watched Thee

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, all rights belong to JK Rowling and her publishing company. The poem _I Watched Thee _is by Lord Byron.

Authors Note: This is inspired by one of my favorite poems of all time. Recently when I read it, I could not get this plot bunny out of my head and knew I had to write about it. Read and Review. Please.

_I watched thee when the foe was at our side  
Ready to strike at him, or thee and me  
Were safety hopeless rather than divide  
Aught with one loved, save love and liberty._

This would be the last the battle. He was sure of it. At least for him it would. He would either die trying to protect the Potter Brat, the wizarding world's only hope, or finally see the Dark Lord defeated. Every Auror and member of the Order had their wands drawn, ready to kill or be killed to protect the world they so dearly loved.

Many should not even be there, at least according to Severus' standards. Molly had already lost two sons to this dreaded war, she was the heart of the Order, and yet she had been the most determined to fight today. Despite his attitude towards the other members, Molly was one person he could grudgingly admit had his affection. Her mothering tendencies had been forced upon him one too many times for him to resist her. He silently offered up a prayer, hoping there was some kind of God, hoping with every ounce in his body that she survived unharmed. Another loss in that family would be a tragedy, for they had already given so much, and yet every surviving member was on the menacing battlefield, including the heavily pregnant Ginny Weasly Potter.

She too should not be here. But he had left the nagging and begging to others who knew her better, but they had been unsuccessful. She was illogically arguing that her baby would protect her from any serious harm. He hope she was right, even though he highly doubted such a thing was possible, because there was a large chance that she could loose her husband by the end of this night, and her unborn child was another risk. If she was to loose both, she would unlikely survive another year. Women were often unable to recover from such losses, and it was not uncommon for witches to die of a broken heart if the situation was so dire.

Lastly there was Hermione Granger. She was quite possibly the most talented witch in this century or several before, despite her lack in ancestry. In her short career, which had been heavily overshadowed by the war, she had already accomplished so much. She had solved many riddles that had long been thought impossible by the Masters of Potions. He was amazed by her research, and had it not been for this bloody war, he would have loved to share his research with her. If time had permitted they could have accomplished so much, and perhaps in the unlikely event that they both survived, they would be able to.

Above all, Severus wanted her to survive, even if it meant forfeiting his only life for it to happen. It would be a shame for such a brilliant mind to be lost so early. Even if he were to live through this, he would never reveal this to her, but her had felt more affection for her in the short years since her graduation, than he had felt in his entire lifetime. No, he would never fully experience what it would be like to relish in that love, but he would risk everything to ensure that she had a chance at finding it. Be it with that imbecile Weasly or some man that actually deserved her.

Drawing his wand, he edged his way closer to her, determined to accomplish his most important mission. Others would cover Potter, but she was important to him. In respect for all the love he might have felt for her, he had to see that she made it through.

_I watched thee in the breakers when the rock  
Received our prow and all was storm and fear  
And bade thee cling to me through every shock  
This arm would be thy bark or breast thy bier._

One more battle to determine the fate of the entire wizarding world, to protect the world that had been her home, her refuge since the fragile age of 11, when she had entered the majestic hall of Hogwarts, wide eyed despite her knowledge of the place. There she had met everyone that mattered to her today, with the exception of her deceased parents, the noble people who stood beside her on this battlefield today.

Dearest of all, Harry, she had prayed for his safety so many times. She would gladly give her life for him to live to see his son. She knew that any Order member would, but she had always felt the need to protect him, despite the fact that he most often save her.

She stepped in front of him as Avery approached, quickly sending the most painful and powerful curse she could manage, before finally sending the green sparks of death towards him. Her senses were heightened. She could feel her heart pumping rapidly and acutely hear every sound in the area, but she somehow missed the footsteps of one Lucius Malfoy, as she watched death spread throughout Avery's body. She did not even know he was near until a distinct thud behind her, she turned only to see Snape's wand pointed directly at the spot where Malfoy lay almost dead. He said the words, and the right hand man of the dark lord was dead, never to return. If only his master would fall as easily.

"Be careful. Watch your back. Kill quickly and stay aware." She heard him say, although admittedly she was still staring at the dead bodies in front of her. "Come with me and maybe we'll both survive this."

"Where's Harry, he will need our help." She shouted above the battle noises around them.

He raised his eyebrows at her comment. _Damn Him,_ she thought _how can he be so sarcastic in this situation? _"You've read the prophecy a hundred times Miss Granger, you know as well as I do that there is little we could do to help him. All we can do is ensure that Voldemort's supporters are too distracted to curse him from behind. The more followers we kill today, the weaker any successive movement will become. I am sure that Mr. Potter will give everything he can to win that duel, we can only hope that it will be enough"

_I watched thee when the fever glazed thine eyes  
Yielding my couch, and stretched me on the ground  
When overworn with watching, ne'er to rise  
From thence, if thou an early grave hadst found._

He saw the realization in her eyes as she refocused her attention toward the task at hand. By her side he felt stronger, and had more hope to prevent any harm from coming to her. He guided her to isolated parts of the cemetery that was ironically serving as a final battlefield, hoping it would be safer.

Together they fought off foe after foe, until they were gasping for breath and saw no one else to attack. Every surviving Death Eater was engaged in combat with some other fighter for the Light side. Beyond the cemetery, sparks flew as Harry dueled on last time with his greatest enemy, until an explosion of sort epic proportions rose from that area. All eyes were watching that scene, unsure of the victor. No one was prepared for the one final act of violence from a heavily bleeding Bellatrix Lestrange. As all eyes were fixed on that event that would change the fate of their entire world, she cast the killing curse towards the area where Hermione and Severus too were watching.

_The Earthquake came and rocked the quivering wall  
And men and Nature reeled as if with wine  
Whom did I seek around the tottering Hall  
For thee, whose safety first provide for thine.  
_

He was almost too late pushing her out of the way, the curse spit its evilness between them, each falling to the ground, their hands somehow entwined.

_And when convulsive throes denied my breath  
The faintest utterance to my fading thought  
To thee, to thee, even in the grasp of death  
My spirit turned. Ah! oftener than it ought. _

In the second before he lost consciousness, all Severus could think about was how he had failed her, his life was of little consequence but he had never intending for her to die as well. If only he could have pushed her further from the blast, then his death would not be in vain.

After the battle was over, Harry the victor but hardly able to walk, the remaining Order members collected the bodies. Many had been lost, but tears gathered in even the most stoic of them as the viewed the tangled bodies of two of their dearest. Unable to accept the death of such a close friend, Harry, though he was much weakened felt for a pulse on Hermione's cool neck. It was feeble and she was not far from death, but the observers were heartened to know that there was some possibility of survival. In hope they tried Severus' too. His was even fainter, but he seemed determined, even at the edge to live. Both were quickly apparated to the hospital wing at Hogwarts, where they would no doubt receive better care from the doting mediwitch who had treated them both since childhood.

_Thus much and more, and yet thou lov'st me not,  
And never wilt, Love dwells not in our will  
Nor can I blame thee, though it be my lot  
To strongly, wrongly, vainly, love thee still._

Months later, she was the first to awaken. At first she was unsure of her location, for surely heaven was not a hospital, and there was no way she could have survived that blast. Her only regret was that Severus had deflected some of the blow. He was a brilliant man who deserved to enjoy a life after his many years' service. Better her to die than him, but it seemed that they were together, although she could not be sure if it was dead or alive.

It had been four tiresome weeks since she had awoken, and finally she had gained enough strength to make it to the chair next to his bedside. Here she could view his body better, for he still lay in an unending coma almost six months after the final battle. She had to see him. Had to thank him even if there was no way he could hear her. She slipped her had in his immobile one and began to pour her heart out.

She told him how she had always respected him. How, despite his teasing, she had admired him for pushing her harder. How her experiences in his class had led her to choose Potions as a career path. How she had dreamed apprenticing under him but had been too afraid to ask. How she had wanted to work with him in the future, and finally how thankful she was for what he had done for her. Once she had finished, she sat at the bedside and cried until there were no more tears.

She only moved when she heard an approaching noise. Thinking it was Madame Pomfrey, she limped hurriedly towards her bed, hoping to not be found out of her bed as she had been ordered not to. As it turned out it was not Madame Pomfrey at all, but Ron who had finally been allowed to visit. She hugged him and planted kisses all over his face, happy to see him alive and well. It was not romantic affection that motivated her reaction to him, but friendly, which he knew as he happily, accepted her silly kisses.

From a bed close by, Severus Snape finally awakened, overjoyed to hear the laughter of a witch he thought dead. As he raised his head to take in the scene around him, his heart broke as he watched the affection she shared with Ron. The dreams he knew were impossible would never come true, not when she could be so happy with another. His only consolation was that he had protected her enough to be able to experience the love he never had. She deserved to be happy, even if he was doomed to a life of unhappiness.


End file.
